During the time in which I spent deeply meditating on the next steps within my personal growth and expansion on my personal soul journey, I sat and observed myself and how my soul path was being affected by attempting to maintain the romantic relationships I was in at that time. Intuitively I felt that it was unaligned, but I needed to sort through feelings and emotions inside of my heart in order to discern what type of experience I was truly having that was leading me to feel like I wanted to stay with him but didn't feel in alignment to stay. When I opened up to Someone I Love about this confusion, they said something that really threw me for a loop. "Either you love him or you don't. If you do then I'm sure you can find a way to make it work, if you don't then break up." Hearing this really shook me up because it really did not resonate with my heart. So me being me, I stepped back and observed what inside of me was triggered by that response. I could feel that the Person I Love was coming from a place within them that they genuinely wanted to bring me support; for that I am so grateful. Though the message they brought to the table was a dualistic approach to my situation in that moment. The longer I sit with this the deeper past I observe the illusion of separation and the more I feel one with the Infinite Source Love that we all are. It was through this unintentionally separate yet potentially very harmful response that I learned a deeper experiential understanding of what it feels like to experience myself as Unconditional Love. From what I've learned about unconditional love through the programming from others while growing up, it meant that I was to love others outside of myself unconditionally. Now while this may be true, the largest aspect that is so commonly missed is that we are unable to even attain a conscious understanding of how to love someone else unconditionally if we do not yet love ourselves unconditionally. What does it mean to love ourselves? Love is a state of being. When we allow our minds to fall silent and detach from all thoughts that either feed our ego or tear us down through masochism, narcissism and nihilism, make a change in our lifestyle to eat healthier, exercise, take organic and natural supplements and whatever other changes that may benefit our human suit, we will more easily be able to tap into the Infinite Love that exists within our hearts and higher selves. At this point of developing practices of self-nurture, self-love, self-worth and compassion towards oneself, we truly begin to develop an experiential understanding of what Being Love is actually like. When we open ourselves to remember that the love within our hearts is our true Source Identity, we are able to experience life beyond all third dimensional constructs of duality that create the illusion of separation from which we attach to others outside of ourselves as being the way to not feel separation. When we have a loved one transition out of their human suit we feel grief, though grief does not just arise when we have a loved one transition into a new form. The root of the illusion of grief is caused by the energy blocks formed by the illusions of separation. We are all One with the Infinite Source Love and Light and all things that make us feel separate block us from this remembering of our true identities. When we come into our hearts and learn to love ourselves, only then will we organically begin to learn how to truly have love for others outside of ourselves. We must recognize that we can only give the love, nurture and support to others that we are giving to ourselves. During a messy split-up between two beings who were once lovers, it is essential to come into our hearts and look at what is really going on "me-to-me" and not "me-them." We attach to romantic partners because we have an idea of what we want in a relationship with this person, so when things do not go the ideally dreamt-up way, we feel fear, anger or sadness and hold on tighter because we attached to what once was and are refusing to observe the full truth of what currently is. Through acts of self-love and self-nurture we will step back, come into our hearts and really observe what we really need in order to grow, heal and bring balance back into our lives. This will give us the ability to feel more in our bodies, feel the Love in our hearts that which we truly are, and respond to the other party in the split-up with more love. Pure love never diminishes, but you are worthy of releasing the layers and what or who no longer assists in your growth. You are worthy of healing, expansion and a deeper connection to the love within. Take note that I am not saying that giving into what the other person wants and remaining in the relationship due to attachment to them, fear of being lonely, fear of the unknown, or fear of being separate etc. is how you show love to the other person in the relationship. Sometimes silently walking away or choosing to say nothing when they project anger at you is all you can do to give yourself love. By doing this you will not send any projections otherwise known as energy cords of anger at the other party, and you will not hurt yourself or them. The emotions of releasing the attachments may be painful but the love in your heart will heal all wounds. You are worthy of the remembering of your true identity of Infinite Source Love and Infinite Source Light. Slow down, take a deep breath into your heart and let yourself know you got this.
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